Describe Yourself

When it comes to ‘describe yourself’ anywhere online I feel like to log out or to go to the previous menu. As it becomes the most difficult question of my life. How a person can describe himself..? What one should tell? Shall he describe what he feels about himself or he should simply write… what others perceive about him by judging his social-economical conditions, ups and downs or his weird behaviour in parties after getting high on cocktails.

Describing self was quite easy until I was Fifteen, either I was happy, sad, angry, gloomy, overjoyed, betrayed, pampered, bored or just mad at someone, so it was easy to answer in few words. But Now If you ask me I will juggle with words. There are no clear thoughts in my mind. I would like to portray an honest picture in front of you, yet! I would like to be kind to myself with words. How honesty and kindness can be gelled together?

I don’t remember a single incident when I had filled this column successfully at one go and without re-editing it. And how can I..? Isn’t this the biggest question, so how it can be answered so easily? I feel amused and confused when I see people doing it with ease, without giving it a second thought or writing it down at such a pace as they have written the same, several times before over and over. To avoid my shame that I do not know myself, I write plain and normal things so that there should be no counter attack or questions by anyone and believe me it works for me. What would you ask If I write ‘I love music, travelling, Literature, Writing etc’..?

I guess that’s my door to escapism and a way to shut the doors and windows that come towards me.

Earlier I was quite bothered by these two questions:

a) Who am I..?

b) Why I am here..?

I tried to find the answers within me and outside, till now both are unanswered. Until I… do not get these two answers how can I describe myself..? Don’t you feel it will be incomplete to write which I have not explored about me? I see blogs and people have written beautifully about themselves, like who they are and what they do but rarely I find my answers. I think it’s going to take more time than I expected or the non-cooperative ‘I’ living within me, has to compromise to cooperate at times to answer, whenever the situation like this arises. It’s not my sole responsibility to take the onus of not knowing myself; somebody else also has to share the blame.